Here I sit. Listening to the rain fall outside my window.  Drenched in post workout sweat. Here I sit, pondering over the events of my life the last 3 months. My brothers death changed my life. I will never be the same. I am hurting and sad. I am grieving not only the loss of his life, but the loss of a piece of my identity. The only sibling link to my deceased biological father. Unless you’ve experienced loss to this level, you will not understand why there is a part of me that can never be replaced. Only God can mend and heal these wounds. Right now I am ok with not being ok. Don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying and loving life in a way I never have before. Life is too short. But at the same time I MUST allow myself to grieve and be healed. My counselor told me in my session recently that if we don’t properly grieve it will turn into a “spirit of mourning” that we will struggle with for years to come. I don’t know about you, but I refuse to struggle with any extra spirits! This season will not last forever. Joy, complete JOY will come “in the morning”. Until then, I weep.

My challenge to you today is be ok with not being ok! And allow yourself to just weep sometimes!

Today I choose to to embrace my truth!