What Simone Biles and Waco TX taught me
“I wanted it to be for myself. But I was still doing it for other people. It hurts my heart that doing what I love has been kind of taken away from me to please other people.”
These words Simone Biles uttered in a NBC Sports interview resonated more than I care to admit.Like deep down. You know when you unexpectedly hear or see something that confirms where your soul has been? Yea, just like that!
Simone Biles chose herself not others expectations. She had the courage to say I am no longer enjoying this, so let me step away before I hurt myself further. I applaud her and Naomi Osoka for that matter, for opening the door for us to see such strong women step off the pedestal and say I’m not 100%.
I will take it a step further and venture to say, that as black women, it took even a bit more courage to make the decisions they did. They not only carry the weight of the world, but the black community looking to them to “represent”. THAT IS EXHAUSTING!
Now back to my point. Simone Biles’ statement triggered an immediate inner thought. “Are all my gifts, talents, passions and loves shared with the world?” Now granted, the word world is a bit of a stretch. My platform is small, and my reach doesn’t extend as far as Simone’s, but none the less it exists. And has for much of my life.
From the time I can remember, everything I enjoyed or was really good at someone always have me the idea of “what is could be”. Or how that could turn into a career or business venture. As if enjoying and being good at something isn’t enough.
Her words made me quickly reflect and realize that I keep NOTHING to myself. I am an open book. Sharing my pains, darkest moments, coaching, dancing recipes, all of it. In an effort to help others. BUT THAT IS EXHAUSTING at times. It often can suck the joy out of what I love. What do I keep for myself solely because it brings ME joy?
If we look at the word mental health the first word is ME. Essentially that is the foundation of which mental health stands. Taking care of yourself mind, body, emotions, and choosing “ME” is mental health. And it is enough
Simone challenged me unknowingly to choose ME. To have the courage to evaluate what I may no longer want to DO in an effort to just BE.
Be present with what I WANT to do. something not tied to a purpose, a goal, business idea or sharing with the world. Just because it brings me joy. This takes courage to venture out. To let go of expectations and explore the world and find what brings me complete joy, and for that reason only. If my trip to Waco inspired me to do anything it was just that. To give myself more space to explore, travel, take a class and create for myself. Not with the intention to share.
Social media has wired us to think we must share it all. I am realizing this is a slippery and dangerous web that for some of us can literally suck the joy out of all we are doing.I am excited to see how this next journey fills ME up.
Take a look at this catalog pics from my surprise solo trip to Waco, TX to visit Magnolia Market. I hope the smile on my face is an indication on how fruitful and filling it all was. This trip was something I wanted inwardly yet never really spoke out loud. My husband heard my heart and gifted me 4 days alone on Waco! I am grateful for the opportunity so I could truly be inspired to love on myself more consistently. To find joy and peace in pursuing new things and places, even alone!
Black owned wings restaurant 
Sweet tea from Alabama Sweet Tea Food Truck
Sample desserts from the bakery
Visiting the Silos Bakery 
Visiting a Joanna Gaines Designed House 
Clint Harpers wood design 
Relaxing and reading 
My happy place… Magnolia Coffee Press
Thank you for allowing to hold space for myself today and share with you. I won’t end with a question or challenge. I know after reading you will walk away with whatever was intended for you.
-ash